the bionic diet

Here's the thing: The last few days I haven't blogged or had much success dieting..... "How?" you ask, "How can you not drink water and take vitamins, if this was any easier it wouldn't be a diet?". The problem I've realized is life. It keeps getting in my way. It's also, why I've never been too vain. I simply don't have time. I admire women who look fabulous every day, always wear clothes that are put together. Have on make up and have brushed their hair. I admire them, but I can't even get the hair brushed. I'm way behind the eight ball on this whole thing.

This week several things stopped me in my tracks. First the death of Heath Ledger. A terrible shock and I felt compelled to spend at least a couple hours when I could have been walking and taking vitamins, pouring over the news coverage. Very sad. Then my nanny ( the woman who's down to helping me two hours a day when I'm simultaneously picking up three kids from three different schools announced she had a better, high paying job and was leaving me. I was comatose most of the rest of the day. In fact, I still haven't fully recovered. I'm prone to long periods of extended, inexplainable weeping since hearing this. There were also several marital and writers crisis. Despite the strike, there is still room for mis understanding and heartache, when you're a husband and wife team. We haven't struck each other yet.

I have the theory that the bionic woman will never be a really huge hit show, at least not with women like me, because I hear a woman is bionic and I shrug. Most of the women I know are bionic. I've already done more physically between the hours of 6:15am and 9:3oam, than my husband will do all week. I wake, dress, feed and load three children in a car and drive them to three different schools, with all their bags and shoes and back packs and crisis. I've yelled and run and begged and jumped up and down and pleaded and and raced through the city streets. And I'm not alone. I have friends who are at least, if not way more, bionic than myself. Then we work at jobs, (even if only picketing) then we try to exercise, shower, and do it all again all night.. for the big shift... From 3 to more or less ten at night, I'm back as sole caretaker of a hungry, needy brood. I change diapers with a hand tied behind my back while doing two other things at the same time.

Now if the industry sees fit to remake another bionic man show... that might be interesting... What would a man do with the strength to lift his own pants off the floor and into the laundry basket. How might the world turn if man could drive, feed and care for his own off spring. What wonders would be fall the earth if while doing all this, a man also had a job, paid the bills, maintained friendships and drove... I don't know... a carpool? I await that show I can tell you.

meanwhile I can at least get in a couple affirmations

I am thin
I am grateful
I am happy
I have enough help
A cleaning lady will fall in my lap
everything will be alright and I'll take my damn vitamins tomorrow and at least one freaking swig of water!