day five continued

I've been thinking. It's raining out --therefore eliminating all forms of exercise -- even inside exercise can't be done, because I feel a chill and refuse to take off my giant red coat that makes me look even fatter than I am. For some reason rainy days with no exercise make me really miss smoking. Let's face it, if I could just smoke I wouldn't need the Must have diet / no deprivation diet. I'd simply lose the weight. Smoking is way better than chocolate and ice cream combined. It even beats a glass of wine on occasion -- although together they're the bomb. Smoking makes one regular without fiber. It curbs cravings and causes overall well being and happiness -- minus the cancer risks it's a fabulous way to regulate weight. Yes, had I simply been allowed to smoke after that third baby, the weight would have fallen off like it did after the first two. But no ... the older children wouldn't permit it.

Here's the thing about schools today -- especially private ones. They take all your money and for the first five or so years only teach kids two things with any gusto. The first is Indians... excuse me Native Americans.... By seven years old any child in the private school system should be able to tell you every known existing fact about Native Americans... Their history, their myths and legends, their heroes and tragedies, their foods and lifestyles. They can replicate their pueblo housing and the best students can weave Navajo rugs. Short of speaking the Hopi tongue, today's kids have a great grasp of early America before the arrival of the hideous white man.

The second thing they learn. Don't smoke. In fact, they are taught that smokers are just short of devils with tails and fire breath who are put on earth to eat their innocent souls and give them asthma. Being good students, my older children learned these lessons well and when they finally caught on to the fact, that I was one of devil smokers, you can imagine the horror and the tears. It was a dramatic situation that could only end in my quitting. Drats, foiled by the system I give all my money too. Oh well...

Hopefully the -must have diet -will work without smoking and without drugs. I also have a strong suspicion that drugs would speed this process along. I have an old friend I met on the picket lines that lost sixty pounds, by using prescription drugs. Sounds good, but I prefer booze to narcotics, so I'm going to stick with the traditional approach. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll uncover something at the health food store, that's just like drugs only natural and I'll trick myself into thinking, "that's okay" .

I thought the strike was really going to help the Must have diet, because of all the walking I'm required to do for the cause. (Unions are very strict about pickets. They expect you to show up) However the Union also likes supporters and all the supporters want to show their support by bringing donuts and cup cakes. You can see the problem. I couldn't actually turn them down. That would be deprivation. Also, we walk really sloooowllly and in circles making it not much of a cardio or calorie burner. We walk just enough that afterwards I'm too tired to do any real exercise and so flop into bed and call it a day. We are luckily a white collar union however, and we're taking several weeks off for the holiday, so perhaps I'll get in some real exercise before we go back to the lines in January. Ah.... the damn rain.