Back From Vacation

Christmas over - New Years awaits

Well, I went on vacation. Not just from picketing, but get on crowded plane, fly to Albuquerque, drive to Santa Fe, stay with family for five days kind of vacation. I did not blog. My blog therefore disappeared. Can’t find it anywhere in cyberspace. Someone needs to explain blogging to me better so that I don’t lose my blogs.

I was there without my computer anyway. In fact, my parents home is largely without electricity and modern plumbing much less modems. It is instead knee deep in charm. Old world, faded glory kind of charm, that really makes you want to drink. There was lots wine… I did stick with my vitamin regimen and my tea…. But drinking water was tough. The water in New Mexico reminds one of the water in Mexico. Ick. In fairness my parents keep loads of bottled water around, but I wasn’t inspired. I was inspired by enchiladas and chille rellenos and Roast beef and chocolate santas.

I also went skiing which I thought would be such great exercise and it was, until I ended up stiff and soar and unable to as much as walk the rest of the five days. It was fun, however.

I also completely forgot to be grateful, despite thanking everyone a lot for gifts. I did listen to my mother’s copy of the secret on CD one day, but the chapter on wealth, not weight loss.

I was grateful for being a billionaire in advance, despite the strike and all. It was uplifting, but not oriented toward weight loss.

The Lost Entries

Apologies to all two of my readers. I'm new to blogging and accidently lost whole blog. Fortunately I kept a copy, minus the mysterious disappearance of day seven. Here are the Missing entries leading up to my vacation.

Day Six and Tips From a Friend


Queen Latifiah announced she’s going on Jenny Craig. I feel betrayed. It’s irrational I know, but I feel the Queen should be with me. She’s sold out to pre-packaged food. Yes, it’s convenient. Yes, it can work, (see Kirsty and Valerie), but for God’s sake… Yuck! We’re talking about quality of life. And the Queen..? I really believed she’s so cool and beautiful and talented that she’d never be beaten into submission to eat that kind of food. If only she’d join the Writer’s strike diet instead. Picket with us…. Take extra water and take vitamins. Or my new addition for the day… grapefruit. My middle daughter says if you eat a half a grapefruit everyday you lose weight no matter what. From her mouth to God’s ears. A couple of grapefruit literally fell onto my property yesterday. Bless you Southern California… it’s one of the small reasons we live here, despite…. Well despite everything else.

Anyway, if that’s not a sign I don’t know what is. It’s been a week and I should probably have weighed myself this morning. But I want to wait one more day, I haven’t had a chance to eat a grapefruit yet, and plan to. Also last night I had to bake cookies for teachers. I refuse to compete against the multitudes of overly monied folk who give every teacher something they picked up at Neiman Marcas…

Anyway… the cookies were okay (should have been better considering I followed the recipe on the back of the Toll House bag_)… I had to test them, it would have been wrong not too.

I had a healthy dinner of Chicken, mashed potatoes and salad and red wine and if the cookie hadn’t happened it would have been a great day. Lunch was a greek wrap from Trader Joes. Tasteless but nutritious.

Back to the Queen… she should be on lines anyway! SAG solidarity! Picketing and dieting with us… Where are all the movie stars? The TV stars have been great they know who their writers are and they’ve been on the lines, but the movie stars have been weirdly absent. I know if Will Smith would just come out right now, while he’s a LEGEND and just tell the studios, he’s pissed off and thinking of honoring the lines --- boom… we’re back to work. Studios love their movie stars… Will Smith… Come help us. He’s saved the world countless times. Once for the writers! Bring your buddy Tom Cruise.

It’s my theory the reason the movie stars haven’t been as supportive as the TV stars, is that movies stars don’t know their writers personally they way they do in TV. Movies, with those rare and glorious exceptions are usually written, then re-written. The writer is fired, sometimes re-hired… then fired again. By the time the actor gets to the set, the writer either isn’t welcome, or too pissed off to be there too, or so busy with arbitration fighting over credit there is no time for hobnobbing… Not that many want to hob nob with the writer… There are, of course, glorious exceptions -- Paul Haggis… And writer directors who don’t fire themselves – Judd Apatow. These movies are always the best -- one vision seen to completion.

Anyway, we need the movie stars. I need the Queen. More tips have been coming. Suze who’s a size negative one I think, says:



ALSO ADDED DEEDIE’S RICOTTA RECIPE


YESTERDAY’S FOOD.

Breakfast: cookies (3ish)
Whole grapefruit sprinkled with sugar
Ooh long tea
Snack… black tea with 1% milk

Lunch: Spicey Salmon roll
Two cookies

Snack: cheddar popcorn, diet coke,
More tea

Dinner: Risotto and salad with ranch dressing

Dessert: Tea with milk
Two and a half cookies


Four glasses of water vitamins

Exercise… Fifteen minute walk


MORNING DAY EIGHT

It’s a Hannukah miracle (two weeks late) I lost two pounds. I really did. At least that’s what it looks like on my pathetic scale. I knew it! I knew this diet had substance. Time to review. Added water. Not the eight glasses you’re supposed to, but by the end four –five glasses. Added vitamins. Specifically, one multi vitamin and one omega three every morning. And two fiber pills – called Colon Fit every night. I’d seen a show on PBS with a woman named Brenda Watson who said that all ailments and problems with health and well being can be solved by a healthy colon. The night time pills say “as recommended by Brenda Watson”. I’m supposed to also take a pro –biotic, and will try and add that in this week. I bought them and lost them. Will try harder!

Also the tea. I only had the tea in the morning and the tea says you’re supposed to have it twice a day. Maybe this week I’ll have the tea twice a day and throw in the pro-biotic. I also didn’t do enough exercise… If I up my exercise from ten to fifteen minutes to a whole half hour (and then increase again when picketing resumes) honestly, I really think this could work.

Or… I’ve just lost a little water weight and next week I’ll be the same. NO! POSITIVE! I forgot I added in affirmations.

The diet is working
I lose weight so easily
I am thinner every ding dong day
This is not my imagination
I am grateful for losing two more pounds next week despite it being Christmas and me going to Santa Fe to eat Christmas foods and drink egg nog

Yeah… I will lose weight over Christmas
And I’m grateful for that
And world peace of course!


Good morning. Yesterday’s food :

Breakfast: Cereal, Banana vitamins water, tea

Lunch: In and Out hamburger, chocolate shake, (some fries – not whole thing) I got cocky

Dinner: Spaghetti with red sauce, Parmesan, little salad and red wine. No dessert. ( to make up for cocky)

Exercise: About five minutes on my stepper. A pathetic amount except that the stepper is much harder than walking.

Also: I went Christmas shopping which was a lot of exercise and pure torture. Had to park far away and carry heavy bags and walk through crowded mall… if not exercise I don’t know what is.


Tis the season to be jolly… fa la la la la…

Day Nine

Okay… so I got a little off track yesterday, but a couple of things.

One. I went to my daughter’s school holiday concert and they managed to completely eliminate, not only Christmas, but all holidays… they didn’t even sing a Hanukah, Kwansaka number… It was some sort of ode to African, Latin drumming and love songs. I was so disappointed. I was finally going to get in the holiday spirit and hear some carols and I got bupkis.

Political correctness is going to be the downfall of our society. It’s gotten absurd and no one says anything. Help….

Anyway… that’s more or less how I ended up at In and Out burger having a chocolate shake. To recover from the downfall of civilization. Dieting can be tough, when you have those, “what’s the point we’re all going to hell in a hand basket moments”.

Two. I managed to avoid cookies… although I just remembered a candy cane I didn’t report. Overall, I was a little cocky from the two pounds and didn’t do enough fruits and vegetables, so I’m over that today and starting with a grapefruit for breakfast with the cereal and banana. Two fruits over with immediately and then just have to focus on veggies etc.

I am grateful for Christmas
I am grateful society isn’t going to hell in a hand basket
I am grateful for my diet
I am grateful for my children
Thank you that they love their presents that I bought and don’t complain that it’s mostly clothes
Thank you for smiling faces on Christmas morning after I remind them, we’re on strike and they’re Jewish
(my husband and kids are Jewish and I’m 100% supportive except for I like a little Christmas. Besides Hanukah this year was kind of bust, as it came quickly and we forgot to by gifts, so everyone’s counting on Christmas)







Yesterday was Saturday and vacation is upon us. After my usual Raisin Bran/Banana breakfast I went to a friend’s house to play Balderdash and Celebrity and we ate cheese and crackers and veggie platters and a couple of scones for lunch. There was some extraneous grazing involved but I didn’t feel too bad about it. Drank diet cokes in lieu of punch – I don’t like punch anyway, so no sacrifice there, then had a shrimp sushi roll, red wine and butter cookies for dinner/dessert.

All in all, not bad.

Today – same breakfast, CPK chopped salad for lunch, a few minor snacks, a lollipop and other discarded foods from my two year old. Dinner is as yet to be determined.

I’m too tired for exercise today… I chased my son everywhere instead.

A Random Thought

The Writer and Food

Come to think of it, my weight really could be blamed on my career choice. A writer’s relationship with food is doomed to be a tough. Most of us work at home. All day walking to and from desk to refrigerator… what hope do mere humans have of not eating during the eight straight hours we’re supposed to be in the chair.

And there’s all that thinking and pacing that’s much more effective with chocolate in the mouth and chips at the ready.

When we try to get out of house… for a change of scenery or escape the children or noise or chores… we generally end up in a Starbucks, where we load up on lattes with too much milk and cream and if you’re weak like me, a latte only lasts so long and eventually it’s back to the counter for a donut, slice of lemon cake or scone.

Even writers who get to go to the office (ie… a writers room on a show… are usually met with an array of donuts, Kraft services or people who order in large lunches. Food is inescapable. And this doesn’t just apply to the writer… it’s also the mother… home all day, cleaning the kitchen, sticking food in the mouth as the plate lands in the dishwasher.


Anyone with a home office knows the pain of grazing all day… I envy those busy souls who are lucky if they barely have time to grab a sandwich in between their heavy labors.

day five continued

I've been thinking. It's raining out --therefore eliminating all forms of exercise -- even inside exercise can't be done, because I feel a chill and refuse to take off my giant red coat that makes me look even fatter than I am. For some reason rainy days with no exercise make me really miss smoking. Let's face it, if I could just smoke I wouldn't need the Must have diet / no deprivation diet. I'd simply lose the weight. Smoking is way better than chocolate and ice cream combined. It even beats a glass of wine on occasion -- although together they're the bomb. Smoking makes one regular without fiber. It curbs cravings and causes overall well being and happiness -- minus the cancer risks it's a fabulous way to regulate weight. Yes, had I simply been allowed to smoke after that third baby, the weight would have fallen off like it did after the first two. But no ... the older children wouldn't permit it.

Here's the thing about schools today -- especially private ones. They take all your money and for the first five or so years only teach kids two things with any gusto. The first is Indians... excuse me Native Americans.... By seven years old any child in the private school system should be able to tell you every known existing fact about Native Americans... Their history, their myths and legends, their heroes and tragedies, their foods and lifestyles. They can replicate their pueblo housing and the best students can weave Navajo rugs. Short of speaking the Hopi tongue, today's kids have a great grasp of early America before the arrival of the hideous white man.

The second thing they learn. Don't smoke. In fact, they are taught that smokers are just short of devils with tails and fire breath who are put on earth to eat their innocent souls and give them asthma. Being good students, my older children learned these lessons well and when they finally caught on to the fact, that I was one of devil smokers, you can imagine the horror and the tears. It was a dramatic situation that could only end in my quitting. Drats, foiled by the system I give all my money too. Oh well...

Hopefully the -must have diet -will work without smoking and without drugs. I also have a strong suspicion that drugs would speed this process along. I have an old friend I met on the picket lines that lost sixty pounds, by using prescription drugs. Sounds good, but I prefer booze to narcotics, so I'm going to stick with the traditional approach. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll uncover something at the health food store, that's just like drugs only natural and I'll trick myself into thinking, "that's okay" .

I thought the strike was really going to help the Must have diet, because of all the walking I'm required to do for the cause. (Unions are very strict about pickets. They expect you to show up) However the Union also likes supporters and all the supporters want to show their support by bringing donuts and cup cakes. You can see the problem. I couldn't actually turn them down. That would be deprivation. Also, we walk really sloooowllly and in circles making it not much of a cardio or calorie burner. We walk just enough that afterwards I'm too tired to do any real exercise and so flop into bed and call it a day. We are luckily a white collar union however, and we're taking several weeks off for the holiday, so perhaps I'll get in some real exercise before we go back to the lines in January. Ah.... the damn rain.

day five

I'm wearing a pair of pants that I can't button the top button of. They are on however. The chocolate chip cookie I'm eating for lunch desert is particularly delicious. Food sure tastes good when you're on a diet... even one without sacrifice.

As I suspected, I had no time for gratitude this morning. The baby woke up early and came with me to drive the older kids to school. I wasn't particularly grateful about that and so all positive thinking went out the window and I pissed and moaned instead.

So with the chocolate chip cookie behind me, it's time for adding a must have. Must have gratitude. Here it goes.

I am grateful for the success of the Must Have diet.
I am grateful that weight falls off me easily and quickly without any effort
I am grateful for losing twenty pounds before my high school reunion
I am grateful that I look fabulous at said reunion
I am grateful that all my clothes fit

(For anyone who might be confused or hasn't read, "The Secret" advanced gratitude is important. You act as if you've already succeeded and be grateful for the success. Or you can just state positive thoughts)

I am thin and happy
I am comfortable in my pants
Gee these pants fit great
I can button the top button (I know this may strike some of you as delusional -- but I figure it's worth a shot)
Gee this diet works great.
Another cookie and I'll probably lose more weight.

(I will clearly have to test that)

Yeah for me !

day four

Except for the donut, it was a good day. Sister gone and I had fiber for breatfast with fruit and calcium. (Raisin bran cereal with banana and milk) Excellent start since I consider fiber and calcium to be must haves...

Lunch started with the wayward donut, but then I threw in celery with cream cheese and olive bread. (celery also a must have and a vegetable) I had dinner extremely early... 4:30 but it was healthy -- salad rice, chicken burgers. Really a very good job overall without an ounce of deprivation.

I am however dealing with a lot of pessimism. My children think I'm "never going to lose weight" and the diet is "stupid" .

This reminds of me of something else I must have. A positive attitude. I'm going to take it directly from 'The Secret". Everyday I must visualize myself thin and say several affirmations. I must turn a deaf ear to the nay sayers who say I can' t lose weight on a diet that doesn't involve pain and effort. This is another thing I can add in without deprivation. I love positive thinking. I don't always practice it, but I love it in theory. It's a good discipline. I'm going to try and wake up tomorrow and start my day by being grateful for the success of the Must Have diet!

Hopefully I won't forget. The children screaming, the breakfast, the dog, the race to schools..... often distracts me from being grateful for other things... so I'm going to have to really concentrate! Til soon.

day three

DAY THREE—

Okay, there is a small chance I might be gaining weight. I’m not worried yet, but today as part of no deprivation there were several cinnamon rolls… they were small but buttery and topped with sugary icing and quite delicious and I meant to have one, but two was more filling and three was breakfast. I did squeeze in some fruit. So far there are two problems that have to be addressed.

First – I don’t think I’ve added enough. Definitely not enough water and green tea… My daughter thinks I should add in celery since she learned at school that it burns more calories than it adds. By itself I’m not a fan of celery so I have to add something else. Penut butter sounds too indulgent. The goal is weight loss not gain afterall.. so I’m thinking a nice light whipped cream cheese. Not every dieters first thought, but it will get the celery down, maybe I’ll fall in love with the taste and it will become a staple and who knows…. The diet might start working.

Second - my sister leaves tomorrow and I can start getting back on some schedule, hopefully one that includes exercise. I’m not going to deprive myself by some rigorous routine that eats my day and causes me to sweat and be unhappy, but I’ve always enjoyed walking and if I can work up to a half hour give or take – every day – make that five days a week-- that would be a normal, healthy addition to life that everyone can and should do with ease.

day two

DAY TWO

Okay… there was a lot of wine. I believe the recommended daily allowance is two glasses. I surpassed the recommendation and intend to do so again this evening. My sister doesn’t come in from Tokyo everyday and we feel obliged to over do it a big. Plus, we both have two year old toddlers who like to make each other cry. (well mine makes her cry – he said, she said) The wine is necessary since we can’t do anything else. We’re trapped together in various rooms listening to screams and changing poo poos… the wine makes it special.

Justification over. The bigger problem day two… Got in the fruit.. a banana… got the vitamins down… still short a glass of water, but there’s time. There was a cheese cake incident. A giant piece split by myself and my 12 year old daughter after consuming a cheeseburger and diet coke. Not all dieters would feel okay about cheese cake, but since I’m a no deprivation diet, I had to be honest with myself and eat it, to not do so would have been a deprivation…. I tried to work some exercise into the program. Like with water, I’m starting slow. Baby steps. Ten minutes, stepping on a stepper and holding weights for two minutes. Since my stomach is a problem area, I’d like to add in sit ups but today the floor didn’t appeal to me.

day one

Okay… day One

First, I weighed myself for the first time in oh… about ten years… I hate scales, they tell me the truth and I prefer fiction. I have a cheap old thing that’s very difficult to read, but I think I’m approximate 162 lbs… I’m shooting for aprox. 142 lbs by the reunion. I know that’s a weight I look good enough at and more importantly can maintain. I’m sure 130 something is possible, but I’d have to deprive to keep it, and as I’ve mentioned this whole process is an experiment in dieting without deprivation. It might fail, which will make for a lousey reunion and even worse story, but I’m off and running. I took vitamins in the morning with Oo long tea… (I’d seen it on Oprah and it fits my overall… add things take away nothing plan. So I had a cup).

I took the vitamins with water instead of juice, thereby getting in glass one. I don’t like vitamins and prefer Juice to mask the strong flavor they aren’t supposed to have. I took a multi and a fish oil. I’ll take colon (ie., high fiber pill) with my evening glass of water.

There were food missteps today. A burrito (long story sister in from Tokyo) and two really good cookies, that were free. (it’s Christmas and free sweets are everywhere). Also, I forgot the middle of the day water… but will down one now to catch up. Also I’m trying to impose a one half hour of very mild exercise rule, but haven’t succeeded yet. The night still lies ahead. Overall, though I’m pleased. I added things and deprived of nothing, have a night of wine ahead of me. (remember sister in from Tokyo) Will see tomorrow how it’s going.

the big idea

A friend told me she was starting a new diet that was really working, would I be interested. I’m always interested… I’ve got that extra twenty pounds that’s creeping up to thirty, that just won’t go away, but I’m also old enough to know there are some things I won’t do, not even for vanity.

“Describe it to me”, I said.
“Well, I’m basically cutting out fat” she replied.
“Okay, let me put it to you another way,” I’m less patient than I used to be too. “What did you have for breakfast?”
“A rice cake” she replied.
I wanted to just hang up the phone, but instead I rallied my strength to say, “Not in a million years, I’d rather be fat.”


This was the beginning to my road to self-discovery. I realized part of my dieting problem has been I’m simply not willing to live a life of deprivation, not even for the privilege of wearing a size 6 (I have no desire whatsoever to be a size smaller than that).


Millions of dollars are spent every year, thousands of books published, doctors are consulted and support groups formed, but really dieting is a mind game. Which of the tricks and groups and programs are you WILLING TO DO in order to lose wait. Do you like the one with only protein, or the one with none? Will you cut carbs, or fat, or sugar? Are you able to count calories or eat pre-packaged food. Can you weigh or measure, or eat in or eat out, are you in better control if you take mostly liquids, or snack on bars. Do you need three balanced meals, six little ones, or two with a shake? These are ultimately all mind games, ways in which you decide you’re willing to eat for a certain length of time in order to be thinner.

What I discovered is that I’m pretty much unwilling to do almost any of it. For example, I refuse to give up anything altogether. The reason I believe Weight Watchers is the most successful of all the diet programs, is that it doesn’t force you to give up anything, it simply makes your you’re not overdoing anything and that by the end of the day your calorie intake isn’t as high as it used to be and your expending enough energy that you’re losing weight. It’s balanced and you don’t have to make yourself crazy. Simply use common sense, with the help of support system, and if you stick to the rules, you’ll lose weight. They employ all the basic mind games we all know work. Write it all down, plan ahead, make trade offs that work. Fantastic.

I’m not even willing to do that. I did it twice before, both times to great success, but at this particular moment in my life, I don’t have the time, or interest, in having someone else weigh me. I don’t want to sit through group discussions about food and “how I’m doing” and what’s working and what’s not. I’m just sick of all of it.

So what am I willing to do? My high school reunion is looming. I have only six months and I really don’t want to fly two thousand miles, to be the chubbiest one at the party. I’m sick of no one telling me I look well. Women have a cruel way of letting you know how you look by omission. I’ll be with girlfriends… (all size six) and they can spend an hour going in a circle telling each other how fabulous they look while just sort of omitting me. It cuts like a knife… but let’s face it, no one looks their best carrying thirty pounds of blubber – and I carry it all in my face and stomach. Disheartening. But at least it means I have some vanity left. It’s a glimmer of hope… I must be willing to do something… what?

That’s when it dawned me. I am willing to take certain things for my health. For example, a vitamin. I don’t like to and I forget, but I’m willing to take vitamins if I believe in them. It’s a start. I’m willing to drink more water than I normally want to. I love diet cokes, but I can’t survive on them alone. Okay… more water and vitamins. It’s a start. What else? You’re supposed to eat fruits and vegetables everyday. Usually my fruit is the raisins in my cereal or the jam on my bread. My vegetable is often the salad at dinner. I would consider be willing to eat a real fruit and a real vegetable every day. One not three… I’m talking a slow start.

So tomorrow… day 1