I really wanted to buy that man's life. The guy in Australia who put his life for sale on eBay. It was his house, his toys, his job, his friends. The whole kit and kaboodle. If I didn't love my kids and suspect my husband wouldn't let me take them out of the country, I would have been in. I'm not even a miserable wretch, I can just see and appreciate how amazing it would be to start over. A whole new world and try it on. Plus, I figured, if it was a bust, it would make a great movie or series of articles. Win, win.
But I didn't.
Instead I joined Curves. A half an hour of exercise 3-5 times a week. I just wasn't able to stick to the easiest diet on the planet and panic is setting in. The reunion is in twelvish weeks and I don't want to be the fat chick...
Curves is fine, just doesn't help much on the eating so I still have red wine and chocolate issues. Nevertheless, I should at least be much more toned by the time I meet my past.
And that for the moment is that... Somebody besides me bought a life in Perth Australia... damn that sounds sweet. XXC
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
High School Reunion Diet
Okay. I'm back and I've renamed the diet and it's time to get serious. There are only two months to go. Do or die. Time to actually diet. Today I woke up desperate and ready to call Lindora or Weight Watchers or sign up for ediet or join the Queen on Jenny Craig. But I decided to give my diet it's due. Try it and go down with the ship. Only now it's for real. No cheating. Six glasses of water every day - no exceptions.. I'm going to make a chart. Cereal for breakfast... with banana-- no candy right after. IN between fruit or those 100 calorie bars that I sometimes have three of. Only I get only one. Afternoon - popcorn. Lunch. Yogurt and granola. Today I had three bowls. Tomorrow. One. Dinner - reasonable with salad and one wine. Desert cannot be a whole Cadbury bar.... It will be what? Got it. Another hundred calorie bar. Vitamins and tea back in.... soda back to one not two. I've really just thrown in the towel... time to pick it up and go.
Til tomorrow. C
Til tomorrow. C
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Striking the blog
With no one else to strike, I'm striking my blog. I'm actually refusing to write til I lose another pound. Yet to too scared to weigh myself. Makes no sense. much like my life of late. Changes are brewing. A bit of a domestic storm ahead I think. Holding on tight. Sanity, don't leave me now.
XXCary
XXCary
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Fat Lady Sang
OKAY… The strike is over. Back to the musthavediet and time is running out. The reunion is only two months away… plus a week or two that I need for padding. The writer’s strike didn’t actually help me lose weight. In fact, in the last couple weeks I think I put my original four lost pounds back on. I refuse to weigh myself and find out… Too depressing.
The problem is not the diet. I still believe in the “must have” concept. ( see sidebar) The problem is that I’m not actually doing the easiest diet in the world… I’ve just been too busy. I also think when you’re not writing everything down it all goes to the wayside. I think writing is as important as positive attitude and food intake and vitamins and water.
I also should cut out the diet cokes… There was an article on that on Yahoo yesterday to that effect…. That the drinks promote weight gain… I refused to read it… It would depress me. I was good in the beginning about keeping it to one a day. Lately I’ve slipped back to two.. pretty much hand in hand with skipping the water, the vitamins and the twenty minute walk. Oops. Yeah, I’ve been pretty much living on excessive sugar, fat and pasta.
Today in the midst of a thousand more important conversations, my friend Jane, said, “By the way, I have a diet tip for you. Skip meals.” Taking out food altogether, I’m pretty sure would do the trick. I’m actually contemplating Slim Fast. No decisions, no balancing, just eat a bar, drink a shake and wait for dinner. I swore I wouldn’t, but damn the reunion is getting near.
Starting tomorrow I’ll give it three more weeks. Writing it, taking the vitamins, visualizing, and being grateful. Three weeks… Starting today.
The problem is not the diet. I still believe in the “must have” concept. ( see sidebar) The problem is that I’m not actually doing the easiest diet in the world… I’ve just been too busy. I also think when you’re not writing everything down it all goes to the wayside. I think writing is as important as positive attitude and food intake and vitamins and water.
I also should cut out the diet cokes… There was an article on that on Yahoo yesterday to that effect…. That the drinks promote weight gain… I refused to read it… It would depress me. I was good in the beginning about keeping it to one a day. Lately I’ve slipped back to two.. pretty much hand in hand with skipping the water, the vitamins and the twenty minute walk. Oops. Yeah, I’ve been pretty much living on excessive sugar, fat and pasta.
Today in the midst of a thousand more important conversations, my friend Jane, said, “By the way, I have a diet tip for you. Skip meals.” Taking out food altogether, I’m pretty sure would do the trick. I’m actually contemplating Slim Fast. No decisions, no balancing, just eat a bar, drink a shake and wait for dinner. I swore I wouldn’t, but damn the reunion is getting near.
Starting tomorrow I’ll give it three more weeks. Writing it, taking the vitamins, visualizing, and being grateful. Three weeks… Starting today.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
my friend deedie
Deedie writes:
Just thought I'd let you know that I have started drinking green tea
in
> the afternoon in support of your efforts...I drink MANY cups of
coffee
> and lattes throughout the day, but virtually gave up Diet Coke in
> another round of "pick ONE healthy thing" after my sister died: a
> psychiatrist (colleague, not MY therapist) saw me drinking a Diet
Coke
> one day, smiled (in that I am so much healthier than you are kind of
> way) and said "Mmm! Neurotoxins!" This was my inspiration to avoid
> nutrasweet...
>
> jenny gave me a membership at this nice fitness club and spa for the
> month of January. Despite my previously stated belief that "it is
all
> about exercise" my month-long committment to "strength and toning"
> three times a week did NOTHING for my weight... in fact, I have been
up
> to my high plateau after several weeks of total body workouts. A
> friend of mine that I meet for coffee on Sunday mornings (at a picnic
> table inside a convenience store during the winter) who is about 15
or
> 16 years older than I am says she has been on a diet for a year, and
> has lost ONE POUND... All of this is to say that I am deeply
> disappointed in the whole aging process, and resent having to pay
> attention to any of it AT ALL! I am telling myself that part of the
> problem is that I exercise TOO HARD: I'm burning muscle instead of
fat:
> I'm not paying attention to my TARGET HEART RATE....but I do enjoy
the
> endorphins in much the way I once enjoyed recreational drugs:-)
>
> The primary problem is the bionic woman thing: I don't have enough
> TIME to exercise every day. Which brings me to the issue of needing
to
> find a way to make LOTS of money without having to work... Or maybe I
> could just get Sasha to cast me in a reality show... or you could
tell
> me how to get on a home makeover program..
>
> Any thoughts?
My thoughts: First off, you're a way better woman than I. Exercise is on track, already given up diet cokes... amazing. And the green tea.... I'm still only managing the one cup in the morning. The rest of the day I'm drawn to English Breakfast with cream.
Time is a problem for all we bionic women and which is why I'm trying to come up with a diet where I lose twenty pounds with no sacrifice, because I'm sure if I suceed I'll be very rich. Not yet succeeding however. Still faith. Faith.
Reality TV does seem like an alternative but you mostly don't get rich and mostly do get made fun of... I say steer clear. Except for the home make over shows. Those are fabulous! Go on the HGTV web site and click "be on Hgtv" at the top and it will list shows and where they shoot. Maine might be tough... but you never know... suddenly a show could be in your neck of the woods, in which case you quickly apply on line and await your bounty.
I am grateful for HGTV
I am grateful for my office
I am grateful for my successful diet
I am grateful for my friend Deedie
Just thought I'd let you know that I have started drinking green tea
in
> the afternoon in support of your efforts...I drink MANY cups of
coffee
> and lattes throughout the day, but virtually gave up Diet Coke in
> another round of "pick ONE healthy thing" after my sister died: a
> psychiatrist (colleague, not MY therapist) saw me drinking a Diet
Coke
> one day, smiled (in that I am so much healthier than you are kind of
> way) and said "Mmm! Neurotoxins!" This was my inspiration to avoid
> nutrasweet...
>
> jenny gave me a membership at this nice fitness club and spa for the
> month of January. Despite my previously stated belief that "it is
all
> about exercise" my month-long committment to "strength and toning"
> three times a week did NOTHING for my weight... in fact, I have been
up
> to my high plateau after several weeks of total body workouts. A
> friend of mine that I meet for coffee on Sunday mornings (at a picnic
> table inside a convenience store during the winter) who is about 15
or
> 16 years older than I am says she has been on a diet for a year, and
> has lost ONE POUND... All of this is to say that I am deeply
> disappointed in the whole aging process, and resent having to pay
> attention to any of it AT ALL! I am telling myself that part of the
> problem is that I exercise TOO HARD: I'm burning muscle instead of
fat:
> I'm not paying attention to my TARGET HEART RATE....but I do enjoy
the
> endorphins in much the way I once enjoyed recreational drugs:-)
>
> The primary problem is the bionic woman thing: I don't have enough
> TIME to exercise every day. Which brings me to the issue of needing
to
> find a way to make LOTS of money without having to work... Or maybe I
> could just get Sasha to cast me in a reality show... or you could
tell
> me how to get on a home makeover program..
>
> Any thoughts?
My thoughts: First off, you're a way better woman than I. Exercise is on track, already given up diet cokes... amazing. And the green tea.... I'm still only managing the one cup in the morning. The rest of the day I'm drawn to English Breakfast with cream.
Time is a problem for all we bionic women and which is why I'm trying to come up with a diet where I lose twenty pounds with no sacrifice, because I'm sure if I suceed I'll be very rich. Not yet succeeding however. Still faith. Faith.
Reality TV does seem like an alternative but you mostly don't get rich and mostly do get made fun of... I say steer clear. Except for the home make over shows. Those are fabulous! Go on the HGTV web site and click "be on Hgtv" at the top and it will list shows and where they shoot. Maine might be tough... but you never know... suddenly a show could be in your neck of the woods, in which case you quickly apply on line and await your bounty.
I am grateful for HGTV
I am grateful for my office
I am grateful for my successful diet
I am grateful for my friend Deedie
Monday, February 4, 2008
Does the Fat Lady Sing?
It ain't over til it's over. Larry Gelbart left me a message saying it's not over til the fat lady sings and keep picketing. My cousin called me from the lines at Fox... Rumors are swirling but not all good. It's was so promising Friday when the news was reporting break throughs in negotiations. Yippee....
However, as a resident fat lady... no singing yet. First of all, I really hoped to be thinner by the time we called it a day. I haven't weighed in in awhile. There was the whole me being sick things, and my children being sick.... and my feed a cold, feed a fever, feed a headache philosophy.
Hard to lose weight, hard to blog, impossible to picket. My middle daughter also starred in her school play this weekend... she was fabulous... so was the food at intermission. It's been a bust. And Russian mother in law is staying the week with us... feeding us. Non stop.
That's where I am. Vitamins, check... water... sort of ... exercise -- non existent... food eh...
Oh, I nearly forgot the trauma of the day.... No wonder my kids are dramatic, we never lack drama in our home. Anyway, last night at eleven pm, my daughter awoke me to the big news that she wasn't going to school the next day ( today) because of a weapons threat on campus. An eighth grader is threatening the school. She stayed home -- so did 90% of the school. The other 10% were home more or less after first period and after experiencing a "lockdown" in the gym. Now the headmaster writes that while the investigation is on going and the police presence will remain, there is no "credible" threat and the school will be open tomorrow. Hm... it was open today. My daughter works for the school paper. The older boys who were there today to investigate said the police believe the threat is real... which is why the continued presence... So do I send her back...? I believe so. Police are there, the school seems on top of the situation... still... that lingering doubt ... and the very loud doubt coming from my Russian mother in law... Russians are notoriously doom and gloom and my Russians aren't the exception. She can't stay home forever... In all likely hood it's some poor doomed kid who made idle threats in a fit of anger. He's probably never held a gun, much less has access to one and his life is about to go wildly off course. Still...
I have not been nearly grateful enough lately.
I am grateful for the safety of my children
I am grateful for the police and their good work
I am grateful for the school's excellent care
I am grateful that the threat was idle and meaningless
I am not afraid
My kids are safe!
Amen.
However, as a resident fat lady... no singing yet. First of all, I really hoped to be thinner by the time we called it a day. I haven't weighed in in awhile. There was the whole me being sick things, and my children being sick.... and my feed a cold, feed a fever, feed a headache philosophy.
Hard to lose weight, hard to blog, impossible to picket. My middle daughter also starred in her school play this weekend... she was fabulous... so was the food at intermission. It's been a bust. And Russian mother in law is staying the week with us... feeding us. Non stop.
That's where I am. Vitamins, check... water... sort of ... exercise -- non existent... food eh...
Oh, I nearly forgot the trauma of the day.... No wonder my kids are dramatic, we never lack drama in our home. Anyway, last night at eleven pm, my daughter awoke me to the big news that she wasn't going to school the next day ( today) because of a weapons threat on campus. An eighth grader is threatening the school. She stayed home -- so did 90% of the school. The other 10% were home more or less after first period and after experiencing a "lockdown" in the gym. Now the headmaster writes that while the investigation is on going and the police presence will remain, there is no "credible" threat and the school will be open tomorrow. Hm... it was open today. My daughter works for the school paper. The older boys who were there today to investigate said the police believe the threat is real... which is why the continued presence... So do I send her back...? I believe so. Police are there, the school seems on top of the situation... still... that lingering doubt ... and the very loud doubt coming from my Russian mother in law... Russians are notoriously doom and gloom and my Russians aren't the exception. She can't stay home forever... In all likely hood it's some poor doomed kid who made idle threats in a fit of anger. He's probably never held a gun, much less has access to one and his life is about to go wildly off course. Still...
I have not been nearly grateful enough lately.
I am grateful for the safety of my children
I am grateful for the police and their good work
I am grateful for the school's excellent care
I am grateful that the threat was idle and meaningless
I am not afraid
My kids are safe!
Amen.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
word on the street
The word on the street is that the strike will be over smack in the middle of Feb. Just in time for the Oscars. Just in time to avert financial hardship and disaster. Yay. Of course everyone could be wrong. I don't even know who everyone is... but there does appear to be a consensus. I'll have to lose a lot of weight quickly and then immediately rename the diet again, because I'm not sure I can lose twenty in basically two and half weeks. Baby doesn't want me to blog. Must go. later.
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